When I tell this to men, they don’t believe me. “What do you mean, you don’t like shopping? All women like shopping!”
Well, no, not this one, mate.
When I make my sorry little confession to women, I encounter pitying looks – as if I am some kind of masochist, willfully depriving myself of one of life’s greatest pleasures.
I must admit that for most members of my sex (the ones of my acquaintance, at any rate), a few hours or so spent trudging from shop to shop, adding purchase to purchase, and finally collapsing, laden with entrancing, logo-plastered bags, exhausted and feet aching (the “search for comfortable shoes” blog will be published at a later date – ed.) at an expensive cafe in an expensive shopping mall, to recover and to show off and discuss one’s purchases with one’s girlfriends, is a treat of no small order. For me, however, a trip to the mall is one to be undertaken only in cases of dire emergency, such as when I have acquired – by gift or purchase – an article of apparel or jewellery for which no suitable match can be found in my existing wardrobe.
This has happened twice over the last month. In the first case, I bought, for the merest song (NIS25), an “ethnic-style” necklace, but then realised I had no earrings to go with it. Now, I don’t know about you, but I feel naked without earrings. Anything else – necklace, brooch, bracelet, rings – I can do without, but not earrings.
My attempt to remedy this resulted in the purchase of not one, but two new pairs of earrings, neither of which could be said to be a perfect match to the necklace but each of which beautifully complements one of two other necklaces I had, which were also in need of “Life Partners”. Total cost for the two (after a generous reduction from the salesgirl) – NIS280 (i.e. more than eleven times the cost of the necklace)!
My second shopping venture was the result of the purchase, for a mere 50 shekels, of a new, dark grey skirt to wear in court. However, the skirt was really designed to be worn with a narrow belt. I suspect it was actually designed to be sold with said belt, except that the shop-owner was selling the skirts well below the price on the price tag, but minus belts. He did have narrow belts for sale at 15 shekels, he said, and showed me one. I didn’t like it. I had, however, seen a belt which I very much liked, in the Crazy Line catalogue, so I set off for their shop on the corner of King George and Jaffa Road, only to find they were almost out of belts (this was the end of the Summer Sale season) and that this particular one was out of stock. I therefore decided to try my luck at their flagship store in the extremely upmarket Mamilla-Alrov shopping mall.
The Alrov shopping mall in Mamilla Avenue is an open air shopping mall which runs all the way from the Agron-King David intersection as far as the walls of the Old City and is a popular tourist attraction. One of its special features is the fact that it serves as a kind of outdoor art gallery, presenting – at any given time – dozens of sculptures on changing themes. These sculptures, moreover, are for sale. At the time of my visit, the subject was “Musical Instruments.” As my readers will know, music is one of my ruling passions, so I am very happy to be able to share with you photographs of some of the works of art on display:
I had to walk almost to the far end of the Mall, just before the Jaffa Gate exit, before I found the Crazy Line store, and when I did so, it was only to discover that the belt I sought was not in stock. I retraced my steps and entered the Golf store – where I have a 28% discount as a club member. I left with not one, but two belts (I was not being prodigal, they were sold in pairs!) for the total price (after the discount) of 57 shekels – once again, more than I had paid for the skirt to which I was trying to match them!
All in all – it was an exhausting afternoon. Still, I had an enjoyable time admiring the sculptures and taking the pictures, which I hope you have enjoyed.
I’m still wondering though, whether I made a mistake in not buying a really beautiful, shimmering green leather belt ( a bargain at NIS 200 😉 ) which I saw in one of the shops. True, I didn’t have anything with which to wear it. On the other hand, there was a matching pair of shoes in the same shimmering green leather – rather like specially-treated snakeskin. And, of course, I could always have bought a new dress or skirt or pair of trousers…
I don’t like shopping.
Did I happen to mention that?